AN ACCURATE 2013 HOROSCOPE
This is the real deal. Try ignoring it, and the first thing you’ll notice is having a horrible day starting tomorrow morning …
and it only gets worse from there.
ARIES - The Aggressive (March 21 to April 19)
Outgoing. Lovable. Spontaneous. Not one to mess with. Funny… Excellent kisser. EXTREMELY adorable. Loves relationships, and family is very important to an Aries. Aries are known for being generous and giving. Addictive. Loud. Always has the need to be ‘Right’. Aries will argue to prove their point for hours and hours. Aries are some of the most wonderful people in the world. 16 years of bad luck if you do not forward.
TAURUS - The Tramp (April 20 to May 20)
Aggressive. Loves being in long relationships. Likes to give a good fight. Fight for what they want. Can be annoying at times, but for the love of attention. Extremely outgoing. Loves to help people in times of need. Good kisser. Good personality. Stubborn. A caring person. They can be self-centred and if they want something they will do anything to get it. They love to sleep and can be lazy. One of a kind. Not one to mess with. Are the most attractive people on earth! 15 years of bad luck if you do not forward.
GEMINI - The Twin (May 21 to June 20)
Nice. Love is one of a kind. Great listeners. Very good at confusing people. Lover not a fighter, but will still knock you out. Geminis will not take any crap from anyone. Geminis like to tell people what they should do and get offended easily. They are great at losing things and are forgetful. Geminis can be very sarcastic and childish at times and are very nosey. Trustworthy. Always happy. VERY Loud. Talkative. Outgoing. VERY FORGIVING. Loves to make out. Has a beautiful smile. Generous. Strong. THE MOST IRRESISTIBLE. 9 years of bad luck if you do not forward.
CANCER - The Beauty (June 21 to July 22)
MOST AMAZING KISSER. Very high appeal. A Cancer’s love is one of a kind… Very romantic. Most caring person you will ever meet in your life. Entirely creative person, most are artists and insane, respectfully speaking. They perfected sex and do it often. Extremely random. An ultimate freak. Extremely funny and is usually the life of the party. Most Cancers will take you under their wing and into their hearts where you will remain forever. Cancers make love with a passion beyond compare. Spontaneous. Not a fighter, but will kick your ass good if it comes down to it. Someone you should hold on to! 12 years of bad luck if you do not forward.
LEO - The Lion (July 23 to August 22)
Great talker. Attractive and passionate. Laid back. Usually happy but when unhappy tend to be grouchy and childish. A Leo’s problem becomes everyone’s problem. Most Leos are very predictable and tend to be monotonous. Knows how to have fun. Is really good at almost anything. Great kisser. Very predictable. Outgoing. Down to earth. Addictive. Attractive. Loud. Loves being in long relationships. Talkative. Not one to mess with. Rare to find. Good when found. 7 years of bad luck if you do not forward.
VIRGO - The One that Waits (August 23 to September 22)
Dominant in relationships. Someone loves them right now. Always wants the last word. Caring. Smart. Loud. Loyal. Easy to talk to. Everything you ever wanted. Easy to please. A pushover. Loves to gamble and take chances. Needs to have the last say in everything. They think they know everything and usually do. Respectful to others but you will quickly lose their respect if you do something untrustworthy towards them and never regain respect. They do not forgive and never forget. The one and only. 7 years of bad luck if you do not forward.
LIBRA - The Lame One (September 23 to October 22)
Nice to everyone they meet. Their love is one of a kind. Silly, funny and sweet. Have own unique appeal. Most caring person you will ever meet! However, not the kind of person you want to mess with… you might end up crying. Libras can cause as much havoc as they can prevent. Faithful friends to the end. Can hold a grudge for years. Libras are someone you want on your side. Usually great at sports and are extreme sports fanatics. Very creative. A hopeless romantic. 9 years of bad luck if you do not forward.
SCORPIO - The Addict (October 23 to November 21)
EXTREMELY adorable. Loves to joke. Very good sense of humour. Will try almost anything once. Loves to be pampered. Energetic. Predictable. GREAT kisser. Always get what they want. Attractive. Loves being in long relationships. Talkative. Loves to party but at times to the extreme. Loves the smell and feel of money and is good at making it but just as good at spending it! Very protective over loved ones. HARD workers. Can be a good friend but if is disrespected by a friend, the friendship will end. Romantic. Caring. 4 years of bad
Luck if you do not forward.
SAGITTARIUS - The Promiscuous One (November 22 to December 21)
Spontaneous. High appeal. Rare to find. Great when found. Loves being in long relationships. So much love to give. A loner most of the time. Loses patience easily and will not take crap. If in a bad mood stay FAR away. Gets offended easily and remembers the offence forever. Loves deeply but at times will not show it, feels it is a sign of weakness. Has many fears but will not show it. VERY private person. Defends loved ones with all their abilities. Can be childish often. Not one to mess with. Very pretty. Very romantic. Nice to everyone they meet. Their Love is one of a kind. Silly, fun and sweet. Have own unique appeal. Most caring person you will ever meet! Amazing in bed!!! Not the kind of person you want to mess with- you might end up crying. 4 years of bad luck if you do not forward.
CAPRICORN - The Passionate Lover (December 22 to January 19)
Love to bust. Nice. Sassy. Intelligent. Sexy. Grouchy at times and annoying to some. Lazy and love to take it easy, but when they find a job or something they like to do they put their all into it. Proud, understanding and sweet. Irresistible. Loves being in long relationships. Great talker. Always gets what he or she wants. Cool. Loves to win against other signs in sports, especially Gemini’s. Likes to cook but would rather go out
To eat at good restaurants. Extremely fun. Loves to joke. Smart. 24 years of bad luck if you do not forward.
AQUARIUS - Does It in the Water (January 20 to February 18)
Trustworthy. Attractive. Great kisser. One of a kind. Loves being in long-term relationships. Tries hard. Will take on any project. Proud of themselves in whatever they do. Messy and unorganized. Procrastinators. Great lovers, when they’re not sleeping. Extreme thinkers. Loves their pets usually more than their family. Can be VERY irritating to others when they try to explain or tell a story. Unpredictable. Will exceed your expectations. Not a fighter, but will knock your lights out. 2 years of bad luck if you do not forward.
PISCES - The Partner for Life (February 19 to March 20)
Caring and kind. Smart. Likes to be the centre of attention. Very organized. High appeal to opposite sex. Likes to have the last word. Good to find, but hard to keep. Passionate, wonderful lovers. Fun to be around. Too trusting at times and gets hurt easily. VERY caring. They always try to do the right thing and sometimes get the short end of the stick. They sometimes get used by others and get hurt because of their trusting. Extremely weird but in a good way. Good sense of humour!!! Thoughtful. Loves to joke. Very popular. Silly, fun and sweet. Good friend to others but needs to be choosy on who they allow their friends to be. 5 years of bad luck if you do not forward.
why the fuck do Capricorns get 24 years! i must….
just for the 16 years…
This just described my life (libra)
so accurate im scared??
This is really accurate omg I’m a cancer and I’m only reblogging cuz I don’t want 12 years of badluck
This is, and forever will be, one of my favourite movie scenes ever.
Motherfucker do you comprehend the intensity of that scene? Do you?
They pictured the feeling of tasting something that takes you way fucking back in time and makes you remember a certain moment of your life, a taste so comforting that makes you remember how happy you were back then.
MOTHER FUCKING PIXAR.
Halle-leuh! *snaps finger sassily*
All of this.
I don’t understand the stress on being “politically correct” when some people don’t like saying “Happy Holidays. I also don’t understand the anger some people feel when they’re told or the wrong holiday. I say “holidays” myself and I’m a Christian and I don’t expect people to say “Merry Christmas” to me. Hell, I’d find it really cool if someone said “Happy Hannukah” or “Joyous Kwanzaa” to me actually.
The Best Birth Control In The World Is For Men by Jon Clinkenbeard
If I were going to describe the perfect contraceptive, it would go something like this: no babies, no latex, no daily pill to remember, no hormones to interfere with mood or sex drive, no negative health effects whatsoever, and 100 percent effectiveness. The funny thing is, something like that currently exists.
The procedure called RISUG in India (reversible inhibition of sperm under guidance) takes about 15 minutes with a doctor, is effective after about three days, and lasts for 10 or more years…
Oh, and when you do decide you want those babies, it only takes one other injection of water and baking soda to flush out the gel, and within two to three months, you’ve got all your healthy sperm again.
The trouble is, most people don’t even know this exists. And if men only need one super-cheap shot every 10 years or more, that’s not something that gets big pharmaceutical companies all fired up, because they’ll make zero money on it (even if it might have the side benefit of, you know, destroying HIV).
can this replace the normal contraception methods we have pls
I’m just going to keep reblogging this until people start paying attention, because people aren’t.
I’m a man and needles scare me and this still sounds like the best way to do this I’ve ever heard.
true love is having a crush on him even after he got a haircut
the female mind is a very strange place.
Steve Wilhite creator of the .GIF format finally ends the age long debate. Is it “JIF or GIF”
the proof is here
the proof is right fucking here
he could tell me it’s pronounced “fuck me in the ass” and i’d still pronounce it with a hard G
I don’t get it
I don’t get it either..
DOES ANYONE FUCKING GET THIS?!
Have you ever bullshitted an assignment so hard you basically laugh after every sentence you write
someone is throwing snowballs at my window. maybe it’s a guy coming to confess his love to me
it was my brother..
I want to know how many people are reblogging this without understanding why the coffee’s there
my mom has been a cop for over 20 years and she is the one who constantly warns me about police aggression and young male cops and told me that if you’re ever alone on a rural road and a cop throws their lights on to put on your four ways and drive to the next gas station before stopping because so many cops are scum and it’s not worth the chance of getting hurt. the fact that SHE feels the need to tell me this shit scares me to death